Super Bowl Commercials: The Windup and The Pitch
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February 14, 2022
If you’re here looking for a list of the Best of/Worst of Super Bowl commercials, apologies in advance. You’ve found yourself at the wrong blog.
It’s been done: Adweek. USA Today. Timmy down the street.
OF COURSE we have opinions, but we don’t watch commercials and only think, “Good or bad?” Knowing how hard it is to pitch ideas to clients, we watch and wonder, “How, by the ever-loving grace of God, did they sell that?”
A regenerating Clydesdale? Like, this is timeshare-sales-guy-level selling.
So, no Best of/Worst of list. Instead, we picked four Super Bowl commercials and re-imagined the presentations. How they got their clients to actually say, “Yes” when they probably should’ve said, “Love it” or “So, what else do you have?”
Gosh, we hope Timmy likes what we did.
We spent a lot of money on production.
T-Mobile Corporate Offices, Main Conference Room, Bellevue, Washington
AGENCY: So, do you guys remember We Are the World?
CLIENT: No.
AGENCY: Perfect. The idea here is that cellphones aren’t just something we all use. They’re an endangered species. We want to save them with a fake non-profit charitable commercial. It’ll be like cause marketing or something. You know, like how people give money for skinny dogs and those kids in other countries.
CLIENT: But ... they’re cell phones.
AGENCY: True. Do you like Dolly Parton and Miley Cyrus?
CLIENT: Love them.
AGENCY: Perfect. We’ll get them to make up a fake song and everything. It’ll be great.
CLIENT: Sold!
Anheuser-Busch Corporate Offices, Main Conference Room, St. Louis, Missouri
AGENCY: You know what’s better than triumphant Clydesdales?
CLIENT: Absolutely nothing.
AGENCY: Yes. Of course. You know what’s almost better than a triumphant horse?
CLIENT: They’re Clydesdales. And absolutely nothing.
AGENCY: You’re right. But what if we had a hurt Clydesdale become a triumphant one, while people drink Budweiser?
CLIENT: Ok. Can they be drinking next to a campfire?
AGENCY: Is there any other way to drink it?
CLIENT: Yes, there is. Also, after the horse regenerates itself and starts galloping along, can we put up a super that says America kicks ass?
AGENCY: Aren’t you owned by a Belgian company?
CLIENT: Minor detail.
AGENCY: Sold!
Uber Eats Corporate Offices, Main Conference Room, San Francisco, California
CLIENT: Let’s do a Super Bowl spot with a bunch of celebrities.
AGENCY: Love that idea. Let’s build off that. Do you know how you’re not supposed to eat everything that’s delivered to your house from Uber Eats?
CLIENT: What do you mean? If it fits in the bag, it’ll fit in your mouth.
AGENCY: That’s funny. Let’s have celebrities eating cat litter. You know, in a sexy way.
CLIENT: Love it. Can we have Gwyneth Paltrow eating a candle?
AGENCY: Totally. She’ll Eats it.
CLIENT: You’re good.
AGENCY: This is going to be beautiful.
Rocket Mortgage Corporate Offices, Detroit, Michigan
AGENCY: Before we begin our presentation, put this little piece of paper on your tongue.
CLIENT: Unorthodox, but O.K.
AGENCY: Now, sit back, listen to Zeppelin and imagine you’re interested in real estate.
CLIENT: I can feel every individual arm hair. On my legs.
AGENCY: It gets better. Picture this: We’re going to tell the story of Rocket Mortgage by using Barbie dolls, a bunch of little kids and Anna Kendrick.
CLIENT: People love kids. People love Anna Kendrick. And who doesn’t love articulated actors? This gets better by the second.
AGENCY: It’ll be funny. Informative. Nostalgic. And memorable.
CLIENT: I love you.
AGENCY: Inappropriate.
